A tag fell off the underside of my chair today. Here is what it says:
“Notice: This article is manufactured for use in public occupancies and meets the flammability requirements of California Bureau of Home Furnishings Technical Bulletin 133. Care should be exercised near open flame or with burning cigarettes.”
I’m trying to figure out who this warning would help.
First off, the person would have to be lying on the floor. With his head under the chair.
And not on his stomach. On his back. Staring up at the underside of the chair.
Then he’d have to be on the verge of smoking. Not already smoking, because that would be too late. He’d have to be contemplating it.
Then he’d have to be able to read. Not necessarily a given for a guy who spends his spare time with his head lodged under a desk chair.
Then there’s the biggest problem: The warning doesn’t tell the person NOT to smoke. It just says that “care should be exercised.” That’s a lot of discretion to give to a guy who’s already made the decision to smoke with his head lodged under a desk chair.
I’m thinking someone at the California Bureau of Home Furnishings wasted a lot of his time trying to protect a guy that Darwinian law is trying push out of the gene pool.
I’m rooting for Darwin.
"I’ve been reading the blog of Stephan Pastis, the cartoonist who draws Pearls Before Swine. It has both its serious moments and bits like this, which crack me up.
